Good morning all this BEAUTIFUL thunderstormy Sunday morning! I love this weather. So day 6 huh? For some reason it seems like I have been doing this forever, yet at the other hand I can't believe how much progress Jude has made from before we started and 6 days later. Before I go into how his EC day went, I want to reiterate that EC is NOT conventional potty training. Again there is no rigidity, no definite, set in stone way on elimination and accident are not a punishment! I have learned that each day is different and to expect it to be the same every time is impossible. Like every human, we can not control the events in our daily lives; we should not expect a baby to do the same. We should, however, give more credit to the little ones in our lives. Many doctors, psychologists, specialists will say how amazing a baby develops in utero and all the amazing things a baby learns in his/her first year of life. If a babies brain can direct them to move a left arm and right and vice versa to crawl, couldn't the brain send the same signals to aid in elimination AWAY from the body? There are still going to be those nay sayers out there ready to tell you, you are living in a fairy tale world, but stick with it. Find encouragement from others to help push you through.
With that said...Day 6. Lately Jude has changed his pooping schedule. He has no gone exactly right after breakfast. The bonding time on the toilet is still great. Although now that Jude has learned that things go in the toilet he wants to put everything in it...including a broom. hahaha. We still get to play and read but it is hard to figure out why things happen the way they do. Jude eventually went but not on the toilet. He did recognize that he went by making a little whine. I just looked at him and said " uh uh, did you go poo poo" and that was that. No frustration, no voice raising, just cleaned it up ( always have a bottle of vinegar water handy) and moved on. It is great that Jude is learning body awareness when it comes to urinating. He is able to look down and see the stream. I cue him when he is peeing and he is starting to make the associating with peeing and pshhhhhhhhh pshphspshh. We spent a couple of hours at the pool yesterday with a swim diaper on then he fell asleep. He slept for about a 2 hours and did not eliminate once. After he awoke from his nap I put him in the bath to rinse him off from the chlorine and the water on. The running water triggered him and he started peeing. He looked down to watch it as I sat there and cued him. The rest of the day was spent diaper free. He peed once in his high chair ( i took the fabric off so now it is just plastic) and whined because he was wet and he peed in his walker while I was washing the car and again whined. It is a great feeling to know that he is no longer comfortable sitting in his own urine/feces. The key here is to change the baby immediately or to remove them from the wet area. As soon as I did, he was good. We tried night-time eliminating but it didn't go so well. His mattress has a waterproof lining and so we put a sheet over it and laid him down. He did pee a couple hours later but he didn't realize he was wet so I decided to put a diaper on and change frequently throughout the night. I am thinking that night-time EC might take a little more time but that is OK for now. I am enjoying all the things Jude is learning now and how amazing his little brain and body is!
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Saturday, July 30, 2011
EC: Day 5
This will be a pretty short blog. There was a lot going on this day. Both David and I were at work and Jude was with grandma Covington. Hearing the events of the day Jude pooped in the toilet and also ate a lot of fruit. I was thinking "oh no the next poop is going to be a doozy!" I had left my debit card all the way in Chino Hills the night before at dinner so after work I spent most of my time battling traffic picking up my card and then headed over to Toys R Us to find a cool gift for my nephew, Lucas. It was close to 6 p.m. before I got to David's parents. After picking up Jude I headed over to my parents where we were having a dinner to celebrate the birth of Lucas, who just turned 8! Jude played diaper free in the backyard with his water table and then we went out front to watch Lucas ride his new bike. He did not pee or poop any of the time he was diaper free. It started getting breezy and we ate dinner outside but I ended up putting him in a diaper so he could be fully clothed. Basically, he was in a diaper the rest of the night. Most parents concentrate EC while they are in their own home. Especially those that do not care about messes. It is hard to expect family and friends to be ok with messes like you are and it is perfectly normal to just practice in your own home setting. We came home went to bed with a diaper on and that was it. I have noticed a new sign though. Jude is starting to become aware of when he is wet, especially while sleeping! I was ready for a diaper changing night ahead of me. I had extra diapers tucked into Jude's crib bumper ( we co sleep and side car sleep) and was prepared to change diapers. I had changed his diaper twice during the night and both times he had signaled me non verbally by whining in his sleep or tossing and turning. It was amazing how as soon as I stripped him of his diaper, all was right with the world again and he stopped stirring and laid so comfortably. We are making progress!
Friday, July 29, 2011
EC: Days 1-4
Man o man has it been busy the last couple of days. Just when I thought that I had time to sit down and type something happens or Jude decides to take a 30 minute nap! So it is midnight and I am trying to type this out in a timely matter so I can get some much needed rest. You would think I would be skinner with all the running around this kid has got me doing. hahaha. Anywho, since I have not been able to write I am going to have to divide this up in the first four days of our EC journey. Hopefully this will catch me up and I can give brief updates on a day to day basis.
Day One:
This was a very exciting day for us. I had purchased a potty the day before and was really excited to use it. The books I have read talk about using the one piece Baby Bjorn for babies who are able to sit on their own. The also talk about using the potty seats that go over the main toilet for older kids. I found a potty at target that was cost effective. lol. It was a little potty, a potty seat and then could be used as a two level stool. It was Monday and I had to work at 6 a.m. I knew I was not going to be able to monitor Jude's first try at it. I did however know that Jude typically poops right after he eats breakfast. I had texted David to put him on the potty after breakfast. I had also texted my mom and told her to let him roam diaper free if they were having any outside play. I was very curious to know how Jude's first day went. I was able to speak with David and he had told me that he did indeed poop in the potty. He was taking a shower and sat Jude just outside the shower on his potty. He went poop and then whined until someone got him off. When I picked Jude up from my parents house my mom did say that he had diaper free time outside and did pee. I thought that was a good starting point. Many may wonder, why just let him pee at will? Because we are adopting this at such a later age for EC I have to redirect Jude's feelings about eliminating in his diaper. Because he had been doing it for 12 months he just coped with the feeling of wetness and being dirty. Jude had just woken from a nap at my parents. Awaking from naps and bedtime sleep are very good times for catching a pee. Babies typically do not pee in a deep sleep so I was sure he had to go. This time I put the potty seat on a regular toilet and we sat there and played. My make-up was in one of the drawers he loves playing with my foundation/blush brush. I would tickle his feet and legs with the brush and he would move it around on my face and head. It was funny and we had a great time playing. About 15 minutes of play he peed and I cued him by saying "pshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh'. Cuing is important and will help him associate eliminating with a certain sound. Sort of like a trigger for him to go. You know how people have to pee when they hear running water? Same concept. FYI: for pooping I use the "uh uh" grunting sound. After the pee, we got off and he played diaper free for the rest of the night until he went to bed. Because we are new to this we have decided to stick with diapers at night. Many babies are able to let their parent know they have to go or will hold it for the night. I did however wake up frequently ( by intuition) to check his diaper and if I felt even the slightest pee I changed it so he was not sitting in wetness. I would say it was a good day.
Day Two:
I had stayed home from work that day battling an asthma attack and coughing fit. Jude woke up and I took him to the potty. We sat there for a couple minutes but he "told" me that he did not want to sit there. I gently grabbed him and that was the end of that potty time. EC should never be forced and a child should never be "punished" to sit there until they pee. We typically attempt for about 10-15 minutes. Keep in mind though that we are playing, singing, reading and talking the whole time so it does not feel like a chore or work. It is establishing that bonding and undivided attention to one another. Anywho, Jude ate breakfast and then on the pot he went. It was about 3 minutes when I noticed him concentrating, bearing down and grunting. That was his signal that a poop was coming. And "plop" it went. He was fascinated with the sound and looked down but was not able to see anything. As he pooped I made the uh uh sound to connect that sound with pooping. He finished and we went back to DFDF mostly all day long. He has some chonies and training undies too and we used to get him used to and yes he did pee or poop in them but he is learning. There was a time when he was trying to dig into the kitchen trash and he peed. I wasn't able to read any cues from him that he was peeing ( IE- staring off into space, freezing, etc.) but he looked down and noticed a puddle on the floor. It happened another time and we also diapered at night.
Day Three:
Well I did have to go to work and was not able to be a part of Jude's morning bowel movement. But checked with David and sure enough after breakfast he was good to go. David had an outing so he put a diaper on Jude. Outing can be hard because you do not always have the ability to listen, watch and immediately respond. Jude took a nap after the outing and I came home as his awakening. I took his diaper off and sat him on the pot. He had a blast playing with me but did not have the urge to pee. So we called it quits. But 2 minutes later.....there he went on the hallway floor. I made the cue sound but started to get discouraged. Not discouraged that he didn't go in the potty but that I was having a really hard time picking up on his cues that he had to go. I feel like a very connected and attached mother but couldn't pick up on it for the life of me. I spoke with other mothers who had told me that the signs to pee are more subtle than pooping and not to worry. DF time is actually really beneficial for him and myself to help pick up on those. That made me feel better. Jude went majority of his day DF and I decided to try the EC nighttime. They say moleskin and wool blankets work well for a baby who is DF at night but it is way to hot for a wool blanket and his mattress is waterproof anyway. But I did use a table cover that is cloth on one side and plastic on the other under him, put his training pants on and put him to bed. The point is that the baby will not want to sleep in a wet area and wake himself up. Nope he didn't do that. He just kept on sleeping. I could say it was because he was super crabby that day and was really tired but nevertheless I didn' think that was going to work yet and put his diaper on.
Day Four:
I was excited to be able to spend the whole day with Jude and observe him. It did not really end up that day and I considered it to be an 'off' day and for most of the day he played in a diaper. We woke up and went straight to the bathroom. Five minutes later and no pee so we decided to do a little Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and breakfast. Because he only pooped once the day before I was SURE he was going to have to poop. But no. He was not having it. I moved him to his little potty but that didn't work because he has now figured how to climb off of it. We played DF and Jude peed on the floor. As he was peeing I made the pshhhhhhhhhh sound and he was aware that he was peeing and even pointing at the puddle on the floor. That was progress. Communication was effective and slowly changing the way he thinks. Well Jude hadn't pooped all day and I was assuming he was dealing with some constipation from the day before. It wasn't until about 3:30 pm that he finally pooped. I was in the guest bathroom curling my hair and I hear a little whine and an eh eh sound. I looked and Jude was telling me that he had pooped. Yes it was on the floor and he was sitting next to it, but he got the concept that it was something to be expelled and to let mommy know you pooped. After that Jude and I had a nice dinner date with 10 of the most amazing women so he was diapered for the outing. We got home fairly late and Jude fell asleep. I brought him into the house and laid him on the bed. He was sleeping but kept tossing and turning, uncomfortable. I thought..."he must have to pee". He ended up waking up and I carried him to the closest "receptacle" the bathtub. He stood there and just make the gentle sound of pshhhhhhhhhhhh psh psh pshhhhhhhhhhhhhh and sure enough a little stream appeared and he peed. I was very proud of him and amazing at all the new things his brain was learning and processing. It was a great feeling. I know not every day is going to go smooth but the hope is alive that this is possible. Whether you do it full time, part time, or sporadically. Whether you are a stay at home mom/dad, work part time or full time. It CAN be done. The end result is NOT " look what my kid can do" although that is appealing due to sense of accomplishment, but understanding the little person in your life. Understanding that people do not give them enough credit for the capabilities that God has given them. Communication that goes beyond verbal and non verbal cues and a sense of self and independence for the baby who can learn to trust their body and those that love them.
Day One:
This was a very exciting day for us. I had purchased a potty the day before and was really excited to use it. The books I have read talk about using the one piece Baby Bjorn for babies who are able to sit on their own. The also talk about using the potty seats that go over the main toilet for older kids. I found a potty at target that was cost effective. lol. It was a little potty, a potty seat and then could be used as a two level stool. It was Monday and I had to work at 6 a.m. I knew I was not going to be able to monitor Jude's first try at it. I did however know that Jude typically poops right after he eats breakfast. I had texted David to put him on the potty after breakfast. I had also texted my mom and told her to let him roam diaper free if they were having any outside play. I was very curious to know how Jude's first day went. I was able to speak with David and he had told me that he did indeed poop in the potty. He was taking a shower and sat Jude just outside the shower on his potty. He went poop and then whined until someone got him off. When I picked Jude up from my parents house my mom did say that he had diaper free time outside and did pee. I thought that was a good starting point. Many may wonder, why just let him pee at will? Because we are adopting this at such a later age for EC I have to redirect Jude's feelings about eliminating in his diaper. Because he had been doing it for 12 months he just coped with the feeling of wetness and being dirty. Jude had just woken from a nap at my parents. Awaking from naps and bedtime sleep are very good times for catching a pee. Babies typically do not pee in a deep sleep so I was sure he had to go. This time I put the potty seat on a regular toilet and we sat there and played. My make-up was in one of the drawers he loves playing with my foundation/blush brush. I would tickle his feet and legs with the brush and he would move it around on my face and head. It was funny and we had a great time playing. About 15 minutes of play he peed and I cued him by saying "pshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh'. Cuing is important and will help him associate eliminating with a certain sound. Sort of like a trigger for him to go. You know how people have to pee when they hear running water? Same concept. FYI: for pooping I use the "uh uh" grunting sound. After the pee, we got off and he played diaper free for the rest of the night until he went to bed. Because we are new to this we have decided to stick with diapers at night. Many babies are able to let their parent know they have to go or will hold it for the night. I did however wake up frequently ( by intuition) to check his diaper and if I felt even the slightest pee I changed it so he was not sitting in wetness. I would say it was a good day.
Day Two:
I had stayed home from work that day battling an asthma attack and coughing fit. Jude woke up and I took him to the potty. We sat there for a couple minutes but he "told" me that he did not want to sit there. I gently grabbed him and that was the end of that potty time. EC should never be forced and a child should never be "punished" to sit there until they pee. We typically attempt for about 10-15 minutes. Keep in mind though that we are playing, singing, reading and talking the whole time so it does not feel like a chore or work. It is establishing that bonding and undivided attention to one another. Anywho, Jude ate breakfast and then on the pot he went. It was about 3 minutes when I noticed him concentrating, bearing down and grunting. That was his signal that a poop was coming. And "plop" it went. He was fascinated with the sound and looked down but was not able to see anything. As he pooped I made the uh uh sound to connect that sound with pooping. He finished and we went back to DFDF mostly all day long. He has some chonies and training undies too and we used to get him used to and yes he did pee or poop in them but he is learning. There was a time when he was trying to dig into the kitchen trash and he peed. I wasn't able to read any cues from him that he was peeing ( IE- staring off into space, freezing, etc.) but he looked down and noticed a puddle on the floor. It happened another time and we also diapered at night.
Day Three:
Well I did have to go to work and was not able to be a part of Jude's morning bowel movement. But checked with David and sure enough after breakfast he was good to go. David had an outing so he put a diaper on Jude. Outing can be hard because you do not always have the ability to listen, watch and immediately respond. Jude took a nap after the outing and I came home as his awakening. I took his diaper off and sat him on the pot. He had a blast playing with me but did not have the urge to pee. So we called it quits. But 2 minutes later.....there he went on the hallway floor. I made the cue sound but started to get discouraged. Not discouraged that he didn't go in the potty but that I was having a really hard time picking up on his cues that he had to go. I feel like a very connected and attached mother but couldn't pick up on it for the life of me. I spoke with other mothers who had told me that the signs to pee are more subtle than pooping and not to worry. DF time is actually really beneficial for him and myself to help pick up on those. That made me feel better. Jude went majority of his day DF and I decided to try the EC nighttime. They say moleskin and wool blankets work well for a baby who is DF at night but it is way to hot for a wool blanket and his mattress is waterproof anyway. But I did use a table cover that is cloth on one side and plastic on the other under him, put his training pants on and put him to bed. The point is that the baby will not want to sleep in a wet area and wake himself up. Nope he didn't do that. He just kept on sleeping. I could say it was because he was super crabby that day and was really tired but nevertheless I didn' think that was going to work yet and put his diaper on.
Day Four:
I was excited to be able to spend the whole day with Jude and observe him. It did not really end up that day and I considered it to be an 'off' day and for most of the day he played in a diaper. We woke up and went straight to the bathroom. Five minutes later and no pee so we decided to do a little Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and breakfast. Because he only pooped once the day before I was SURE he was going to have to poop. But no. He was not having it. I moved him to his little potty but that didn't work because he has now figured how to climb off of it. We played DF and Jude peed on the floor. As he was peeing I made the pshhhhhhhhhh sound and he was aware that he was peeing and even pointing at the puddle on the floor. That was progress. Communication was effective and slowly changing the way he thinks. Well Jude hadn't pooped all day and I was assuming he was dealing with some constipation from the day before. It wasn't until about 3:30 pm that he finally pooped. I was in the guest bathroom curling my hair and I hear a little whine and an eh eh sound. I looked and Jude was telling me that he had pooped. Yes it was on the floor and he was sitting next to it, but he got the concept that it was something to be expelled and to let mommy know you pooped. After that Jude and I had a nice dinner date with 10 of the most amazing women so he was diapered for the outing. We got home fairly late and Jude fell asleep. I brought him into the house and laid him on the bed. He was sleeping but kept tossing and turning, uncomfortable. I thought..."he must have to pee". He ended up waking up and I carried him to the closest "receptacle" the bathtub. He stood there and just make the gentle sound of pshhhhhhhhhhhh psh psh pshhhhhhhhhhhhhh and sure enough a little stream appeared and he peed. I was very proud of him and amazing at all the new things his brain was learning and processing. It was a great feeling. I know not every day is going to go smooth but the hope is alive that this is possible. Whether you do it full time, part time, or sporadically. Whether you are a stay at home mom/dad, work part time or full time. It CAN be done. The end result is NOT " look what my kid can do" although that is appealing due to sense of accomplishment, but understanding the little person in your life. Understanding that people do not give them enough credit for the capabilities that God has given them. Communication that goes beyond verbal and non verbal cues and a sense of self and independence for the baby who can learn to trust their body and those that love them.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Communication: A History
Well I guess here it is. The blog that I had stated I would create! Being a mom has been the best and most rewarding event of my life. Yes it is chaotic at times. The house is a DISASTER, the laundry is piled up and I am ti-erd! But I wouldnt change that for the world. I think mommyhood has been a great fit for me. Some have said I am a mommy guru, which although that make me smile, I am probably far from it. But I do enjoy going against the grain with being a parent, focusing on ALL the capabilities that most people do not acknowledge with a infant/toddler. It is all about what feels right and instinct. Although there should be structure placed in certain areas of parenting, I do not believe that it should be rigid. I have to adopt attachment parenting with Jude and have found it very rewarding for myself and him. If you are interested in learning about attachment parenting let me know.
With that said and done, the basis of me starting this blog was to journal though our newest challenge with parenthood. Elimination Communication. Most people I talk to have no clue what the heck I am talking about and the only way to get them to understand is if I say " its like potty training". They then get it at that point, but also either laugh at me or tell me sarcastically "good luck with that". It really doesnt bother me much. I have received that type of skepticism since the day Jude was born. But I am passionate about it and he is the child of David and Kari and nobody else. :)
Elimination Communication by definition is practice in which a caregiver uses timing, signals, cues, and intuition to address an infant's need to eliminate waste. Caregivers try to recognize and respond to babies' bodily needs and enable them to urinate and defecate in an appropriate place (e.g. a toilet). Caregivers either use diapers as a back-up in case of misses, avoid the use of them altogether, or do a mixture of the two. EC emphasizes communication between the caregiver and child, helping them both become more attuned to the child's innate rhythms and control of urination and defecation. The practice can be done full time, part time, or just occasionally. The term "elimination communication" was inspired by traditional practices of diaper-less baby care in less industrialized countries and hunter-gatherer cultures.[1] Some practitioners of EC begin soon after birth, although it can be started with babies of any age.
(wikipedia.com)
This "practice" totally made sense to me. Western culture is so embedded into me that I never thought to question how other cultures handled parenthood. By reading about other cultural practices I found that everyone BUT western cultures are normal. From Japan to India, China to Afria these babies are always bottom bare and potty trained by age one. I have read many stories of grandparents from other countries coming to the states and they are shocked by our conventional means of diapering. Or others who have gone to other countries and their babies are potty trained according to that countries practices. It is fascinating to me. The more I read the more I felts compelled to at least try it. Thus the beginning of my journey. I could have written more about the basics of EC but that is what wikipedia is really for. :) But anyone interesting in diving in a little more there are a couple books on the market, along with forums, online support groups, local support groups and a great website called www.diaperfreebaby.com. There are two popular books out there regarding this subject. The first is Diaper Free: The Gentle Wisdom of Natural Infant Hygiene. This was the first book I read and although very insightful with alot of historical and cultural evidence, did not seem like a good fit for my situation. I think it would be great for an expection mother or newborn. I left that book still having questions in my mind. The second is The Diaper Free Baby: The Natural Toilet Training Alternative. I loved this book. It felt more personal, as if it were a mommy friend telling me about her experience. Plus it had a section on late starters like Jude and helped me feel more encouraged. I would recommend that book, but it still depends on your needs.
I will be documention EC with Jude and our good days and our bad. I am a couple days behind so if I get the time tonight after the house is quiet I will update the last couple days and share with you how they have gone. So..............stay tuned.
With that said and done, the basis of me starting this blog was to journal though our newest challenge with parenthood. Elimination Communication. Most people I talk to have no clue what the heck I am talking about and the only way to get them to understand is if I say " its like potty training". They then get it at that point, but also either laugh at me or tell me sarcastically "good luck with that". It really doesnt bother me much. I have received that type of skepticism since the day Jude was born. But I am passionate about it and he is the child of David and Kari and nobody else. :)
Elimination Communication by definition is practice in which a caregiver uses timing, signals, cues, and intuition to address an infant's need to eliminate waste. Caregivers try to recognize and respond to babies' bodily needs and enable them to urinate and defecate in an appropriate place (e.g. a toilet). Caregivers either use diapers as a back-up in case of misses, avoid the use of them altogether, or do a mixture of the two. EC emphasizes communication between the caregiver and child, helping them both become more attuned to the child's innate rhythms and control of urination and defecation. The practice can be done full time, part time, or just occasionally. The term "elimination communication" was inspired by traditional practices of diaper-less baby care in less industrialized countries and hunter-gatherer cultures.[1] Some practitioners of EC begin soon after birth, although it can be started with babies of any age.
(wikipedia.com)
This "practice" totally made sense to me. Western culture is so embedded into me that I never thought to question how other cultures handled parenthood. By reading about other cultural practices I found that everyone BUT western cultures are normal. From Japan to India, China to Afria these babies are always bottom bare and potty trained by age one. I have read many stories of grandparents from other countries coming to the states and they are shocked by our conventional means of diapering. Or others who have gone to other countries and their babies are potty trained according to that countries practices. It is fascinating to me. The more I read the more I felts compelled to at least try it. Thus the beginning of my journey. I could have written more about the basics of EC but that is what wikipedia is really for. :) But anyone interesting in diving in a little more there are a couple books on the market, along with forums, online support groups, local support groups and a great website called www.diaperfreebaby.com. There are two popular books out there regarding this subject. The first is Diaper Free: The Gentle Wisdom of Natural Infant Hygiene. This was the first book I read and although very insightful with alot of historical and cultural evidence, did not seem like a good fit for my situation. I think it would be great for an expection mother or newborn. I left that book still having questions in my mind. The second is The Diaper Free Baby: The Natural Toilet Training Alternative. I loved this book. It felt more personal, as if it were a mommy friend telling me about her experience. Plus it had a section on late starters like Jude and helped me feel more encouraged. I would recommend that book, but it still depends on your needs.
I will be documention EC with Jude and our good days and our bad. I am a couple days behind so if I get the time tonight after the house is quiet I will update the last couple days and share with you how they have gone. So..............stay tuned.
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